Characters: Luna's family and Coach Grimm
Word Count: 1037
Disclaimer: This work of fan fiction is based on characters and situations created by J. K. Rowling and owned by J. K. Rowling and various publishers, including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made from (and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended by) the posting of this fan work.
Author's Note: I wrote this for Anonymous, who requested, Sneaky Snuna: Dirigible Plums, quafflepocking, and "came for dinner."
- Her sons' tall, taciturn Quidditch coach-cum-referee had always seemed familiar to Luna, but she could never manage to work out where she'd seen him before on the many occasions that she watched him lecturing Lysander on the evils of quafflepocking. It wasn't until Coach Grimm ordered her youngest—by ten minutes, but according to the rule-abiding Lorcan, those minutes mattered—to write ten inches on the foul after being thrown out of a game for having once again committed it that Luna realised Grimm's origins. Much to Lysander's disgust and Lorcan's glee, she invited "Coach Grimm" to dinner that very evening.
- Grimm's expression upon receiving her invitation proved everything to Luna: he flushed, as only a man unused to kindness would react upon receiving it.
- Rolf flushed, too, but then, he never approved of his ex-wife's entertaining company at what had been their home until he'd become overly involved with a fellow researcher. Arnie, on the other hand, took Grimm's in a friendly handshake and quietly urged him not to eat Luna's Dirigible Plum Pudding.
"I heard that!" Luna told him good-naturedly, as he and Rolf bundled the boys off to their home for the weekend.
- "Does Mr Scamander have the boys every weekend?" asked Grimm.
"Most," Luna replied, setting the plum pudding on the table, which began to hover above it. "So, when did you decide to coach intramural Quidditch? Was it after you recovered from your war-related injuries?"
Grimm frowned. "I never said that I was injured in the war."
"Yes, but I can't imagine that you received those," Luna replied, gesturing at Grimm's scarred throat, "from a group of foul-prone ten-year-olds. The Snitches are all blunted in the children's league, after all."
Grimm adjusted his scarf as he sat down to dinner and abruptly changed the subject, and he soon had Luna laughing at just how creatively children could foul.
- In turn, Luna shared stories of her first-year Transfiguration students' "challenges" in the classroom. By the time she and "George" had successfully managed to keep the pudding on their plates long enough to eat it, they were both pleasantly mellowed by wine and exertion.
- "Well, that was delicious," George told her, collecting his dishes and rising. "Thank you for the meal, Luna."
Smiling, she replied, "You're welcome, Severus."
The clatter of broken crockery was his only response.
- Of course, when he tried to flee and ended up floating on her ceiling with the remains of the pudding and no ability to properly control himself, he found his voice—but his complaints and threats were quite drowned in the sound of Luna's laughter.
- Sometime later, after Luna had calmed herself enough to achieve the floor and tidy up the mess, she found herself assuring her guest that she could be discreet.
"Of course I won't say anything. It's really none of my business how you live. I just couldn't not say anything, Severus. You always seem so very lonely—and you have to admit, it's an odd choice, coaching children's Quidditch in Ottery St. Catchpole when you could be running an apothecary and posting goods by owl post instead of dealing with people."
"I do run an apothecary and post goods by owl post when I'm not being constrained to float in people's houses like a balloon!"
Luna blinked up at Severus in surprise. "But Arnie warned you about the pudding, I heard him."
"Then you never heard him warn me just why I shouldn't eat it, you ridiculous—"
- Luna knew that some people thought she was silly, but the speed with which she had drawn her wand—and the sudden, violent feelings which had inspired her action—so surprised her that she left the hovering Severus "spluttering" silently as she took herself out for a walk to soothe herself.
"No one insults me in my own home," she said, closing the kitchen door behind her with some force.
- The Gernumblies' antics by the stream hard by her house did nothing to make her feel better, however, and realising that, no matter the provocation, she shouldn't have behaved so inhospitably, she returned to see to her guest's needs.
- Severus was himself again when she found him; the glamour he'd worn as George Grimm, gone, he stood amidst her now-shiningly clean kitchen with his arms crossed, glaring at her.
"Oh," she whispered, "this is so much better."
"It was . . . the least I could do after my—ermph!"
- Luna hadn't intended to kiss Severus, but finding him receptive, she didn't stop—until she found herself floating again.
"Oh, that's right. You can actually fly. Goodness, doesn't that mean you could have come down from the ceiling at any ti—"
- Severus' kiss led them to her bedroom, and to an answer, of sorts. Well, all right, answers, and ones to questions that Luna hadn't thought she'd even asked.
- "You fancied me at Hogwarts," Severus murmured into her hair the following morning. "I always knew."
"Subtlety was never my strong suit," Luna replied, pushing back against his body with her own. "And it seems I like being held in 'hard' regard."
- They ate the leftover pudding for breakfast around lunchtime and invented several new fouls in a game of private Quidditch.
- "Why 'Grimm'?" Luna asked, over a shared dinner by the stream.
"It suited my mood at the time."
"And why coaching?"
Severus didn't reply to her question for some time, but eventually, he said, "Someone has to teach the little bastards to play fairly."
Luna didn't quite believe Severus' reason, but she didn't press him.
- They slept soundly, wrapped in each other's arms, from Saturday night until Sunday dawn.
- Most of Sunday morning, they silently lounged together in Luna's large bathtub.
- When they kissed goodbye after a lunch of meat pie and beer, Luna knew that it wasn't because she could feel Severus' smile against her lips.
- "Er, Mum?" Lysander asked, later that evening after returning home. "Isn't that Coach Grimm's scarf under the kitchen table?"
"Oh, I suppose it is," Luna replied, Summoning it and wrapping it about her neck. "He must have left it when he came for dinner."
"'Came for dinner'?" Lysander silently mouthed to Lorcan.
Lorcan snorted. "Guess Mum knows something about 'quafflepocking', too."
Lysander, grim-faced, could only groan.