Character: Portrait!Snape, others
Word Count: 606
Disclaimer: This work of fan fiction is based on characters and situations created by J. K. Rowling and owned by J. K. Rowling and various publishers, including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made from (and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended by) the posting of this fan work.
Author's Note: Written for Round Seven of the Harry Potter Random Facts Fest. This is a companion piece to 20 Random Facts about Diosma "Di" Anne Parkinson.
- Severus objects to being referred to as the "Hero Headmaster"—publicly.
- He expected life as a portrait to be dull, but the artist who painted him saw fit to add so much detail to his laboratory—including stocking it with everything he might want for brewing and including, although he knows not how, his complete library—that he is more than merely satisfied with his lot in canvas.
- It doesn't hurt that the "anonymous" individual who commissioned his portrait saw fit to have copies made and placed all over the school. There are also copies hanging in the Potioneers' Guild in London, under the safety of a warded overhang in the Slytherin stands by the Quidditch pitch, in the Atrium of the Ministry with the other Order of Merlin recipients, and in his mam's lounge.
- It both alarms and pleases Severus to consider the expense of Potter's generosity with regard to his portrait and its copies, so he's never thanked him for it.
- The detail for which he is most grateful in his portrait is the animated miniature of Lily Evans, age fifteen. She believes him to be a hero, too, and he has never disabused her of this notion.
- He enjoys arguing with the other professors in the staff room. One could hardly call his behaviour "Portraitly Interference" when the others seek his opinion of their own free will.
- Each year since his Hanging, he's had a standing wager with the Headmistress with regard to which new students will Sort where. He wins more than he loses, which means that at Minerva's expense, a detail of his choosing is added to his portrait.
- After several incidents that put Severus too much in mind of Longbottom—now a professor, and who would ever have believed that?—Argus Filch agreed to keep the house-elves from dusting Severus' portrait when he was brewing.
- In his gratitude for this consideration, Severus revealed to Filch that there was a way to Banish Peeves and arranged for a Slytherin Sixth Year to perform the spell.
- Di Parkinson elected to Banish the poltergeist to Professor Trelawney's tower—entirely without prompting of any sort from Severus.
- Now that he's dead and freed from marking, Severus enjoys tutoring the more advanced Slytherins in Potions.
- Deputy Headmistress Granger has declared this activity, in writing, Portraitly Interference. Severus doesn't care.
- It's almost like Portkeying, travelling from one of his Hogwarts' portraits to one of those hanging outside the school.
- The new Muggle Studies professor reminds Severus of Charity Burbage; he avoids her.
- On Fridays, Severus travels to his mam's lounge to watch her neighbours lose to her at Gobstones and compliment her cooking, the lying old crones.
- His one remark about his memory of his mam's cooking led to the threat of turpentine.
- Severus holds the distinction of being the only portrait in history to have been published in Potions Monthly. Hermione was good enough to take dictation of his article.
- He is also the only portrait to have presided over a bonding ceremony for former students. In Severus' case, he officiated at the nuptials of Diosma "Di" Anne Parkinson and Lily "Lils" Luna Potter. He didn't find the peach theme particularly subtle, but then, it was no business of his.
- Severus earned a fine porcelain tea set after Lorcan and Lysander Lovegood Sorted Slytherin. Severus didn't, however, partake of his customary gloating because he knew that Minerva was secretly pleased.
- He's never admitted it to Potter, but after the fiftieth or so visit the brat made to him, Severus decided that he'd been well worth the saving—if only for his parentage of Lily Luna, who did her house proud.