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Title: 20 Random Facts about the Weasley Family's Ghoul
Authors: [info]iulia_linnea and Shog
Characters: A. Ghoul, Weasleys
Rating: PG
Word Count: 447
Disclaimer: This piece is based on characters and situations created by J. K. Rowling, and owned by J. K. Rowling and various publishers, including but not limited to: Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made from and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended by the posting of this fic.
Author's Note: Written for Round Six of the Harry Potter Random Facts Fest. Thank you, [info]leela_cat, for beta'ing.

  1. A. Ghoul watches Ron masturbate through a crack in the attic floor.

  2. Since Fred and George taught the ghoul to read, he's enjoyed peeking at their old copies of Beaters and Bludgers but doesn't quite know why he does.

  3. Molly Weasley once scared the then un-housebroken ghoul so badly that he took to leaving his droppings in a cracked flower pot in the corner of the attic.

  4. Every three weeks or so, the ghoul works up the nerve to sneak around the house.

  5. Ron suspects that the ghoul watches him masturbate through a crack in his ceiling, but he's done nothing to fill the crack.

  6. The ghoul is sensitive to changes in barometric pressure. Because of this, certain perceptive members of the Weasley household always know what the weather will be like based on the noises the ghoul makes.

  7. As a child, Percy failed in his efforts to get the ghoul into trousers.

  8. Charlie used to bribe the ghoul with moths to keep him quiet when Tonks was visiting so that they could snog in the attic. Mildly annoyed by the intrusion, the ghoul took himself off to his flower pot, ate his moths, and read Beaters and Bludgers.

  9. A. Ghoul has cousins at Hogwarts who are no better than they should be but look down on him because he can't masquerade as a suit of armour.

  10. The ghoul doesn't move in wizarding photographs, and he always appears to be holding something just out of frame.

  11. Arthur tells the ghoul his troubles so as not to worry Molly with them.

  12. Hermione Granger once questioned A. Ghoul about what he holds just out of frame in wizarding photographs; he showed her. She never returned to the attic.

  13. Throwing things and moaning—A. Ghoul's work is never done.

  14. The ghoul once lived in an odd, rook-shaped home near Ottery St. Catchpole, but its other denizens disturbed him so much that he fled from it to the Burrow.

  15. It hurt A. Ghoul's feelings to be transformed into a spattergroit-racked version of Ron, but once he realised that he could draw more flies, and subsequently, more spiders, by popping his pustules, all was forgiven.

  16. A. Ghoul can smell moonlight; he considers this skill to be utterly pointless.

  17. Bill used to hide in the attic after being naughty—that is, he would until the ghoul scared him back downstairs.

  18. Despite the time and effort the twins took to teach the ghoul to fart, he never mastered the knack.

  19. When A. Ghoul has daymares, he hides in Arthur's shed. There are always fat spiders and lazy moths there.

  20. The first time Ginny found the ghoul in the attic, she said, "Oh, so you're a ghoul."


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 5th, 2010 06:14 am (UTC)
*snickers* This is priceless :) Great timing too, I just ordered the pustules for my "Ghoul in Ron's pajamas" costume for next year. Maybe I should get a flower pot too *G*

Sep. 5th, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC)
That sounds like a great costume! *snickers at thought of flower pot*
Sep. 5th, 2010 10:03 am (UTC)
7, 18, 20. All of these made me laugh and startle The Dude, who then rolled his eyes and went back to Left 4 Dead 2. But, you know - heeeeeee.
Sep. 5th, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC)

Thanks! :D
Sep. 5th, 2010 10:20 am (UTC)
Heee! I love this! Number 9 appeals to me especially, for some reason. :)
Sep. 5th, 2010 03:15 pm (UTC)
I'm glad. *twirls you gratefully*
Sep. 5th, 2010 07:50 pm (UTC)
Oh good lord, Ronald likes being watched!

And Hermione, poor thing!
Sep. 5th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC)
You always suspected Ron's perviness, I'm sure. ;)

*huggles Hermione*
Sep. 13th, 2010 12:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is wonderful! My favourite is 11. I have a very soft spot for Arthur, and this is so like him, trying to keep his wife happy and safe. Of course, Molly would want him to tell her everything so that she can make things better for him, or at least cook him a bigger dinner. :)

Where and how did you get the idea of writing about the ghoul? It's genius!
Sep. 13th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
Shog really wanted to write about the ghoul, and we had fun writing this one together. I'm glad you like it!
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )