Culinary Challenge (NC-17; Snupin; 600 words): Remus consoles Severus after a kitchen mishap.
Remus heard the slam of a pan hitting a counter in the kitchen, and wondered what could possibly be wrong now. Opening the door, he was astonished to find Severus covered in sticky strands of a toffee-coloured substance; in fact, the entire kitchen was covered in the stuff.
"What kind of potion is that?" he enquired, his tone mild.
"I don't think so," Remus replied, smirking. "You look in need of help."
"I don't want your help! Damn it! This . . . this—"
It was all Remus could do not to laugh. Severus was wearing unbuttoned trousers, Remus' own slippers, and whatever it was that he'd been attempting to cook, which was, apparently, not easily removed. Grinning, he advanced on Severus and licked at a stripe of the candy-like substance that just happened to have adhered itself to one of Severus' nipples. Severus went rigid and moaned.
"Don't," he said, hoarsely.
"Why not?" Remus asked. "You seem to enjoy it."
"Idiot! You have no idea what this is! It could have been anything! It could—Merlin!"
Remus bit Severus' nipple again, laving the indentations he'd made with his tongue as Severus' fingers curled none too gently into his hair.
Looking up, grinning still, he said, "You're much too critical. This isn't 'anything', it's delicious," and then followed the delicious stripe down Severus' torso. He was sucking the stuff off Severus when his lover's knees gave way. Pulling Severus' trousers off, he deliberately moved some of the sticky stuff onto Severus' prick with his tongue, only to begin sucking the thick cock like a lolly.
It took some time before Severus stopped shaking. That wasn't such a surprise to Remus: Severus enjoyed his tongue-work.
"So," Remus said, after a few repetitions of a cleaning charm, "what is it, anyway?"
"Don't you want me to take care of that?" Severus asked, nodding at Remus' erection.
Raising a pointed eyebrow, Remus shook his head. "Your arse'll take good care of me in a moment, but first, I want to know—"
"I hate this village!"
"What? Oh!" Remus exclaimed, remembering what the day was. "How did the meeting go?"
"They didn't like it. They didn't like my toffee crunch—I received the consolation prize!"
"The Potioneer's Association gave out prizes for your refreshments?"
"Idiots! No one told me that we had to bring a dish until the night before—and there is nothing wrong with my toffee crunch!"
Before he could laugh and ruin any chance of a shag, Remus pulled Severus up off the floor, spun him into the counter, hastily murmured a preparation spell, and buried himself in Severus' arse. "I've got," he growled, "your prize right here."
Severus grunted and clenched, and Remus didn't last long.
Panting and wrapped in Severus' arms on the kitchen floor, Remus murmured, "Best toffee crunch ever."
Severus murmured something too low for Remus to hear.
"What was that?"
Severus snorted, but without vehemence. "I said that you are an idiot. It's appalling. I'll have to refine the recipe."
"Why? Wouldn't you rather uncork your special potion and have another go?"
"Lupin," Severus said, annoyance plain in his tone, "I will not be 'consoled' out of first prize."
Remus pulled away, suddenly vexed, but Severus caught his arm before he could rise.
"There was never any competition for first prize in the bedroom—or the kitchen, for that matter."
From Severus, it was almost a declaration of love, and Remus was mollified.
"Yes, well, see to it that I don't wake up to a destroyed kitchen," he muttered, pretending to be irritated as he rose and left the kitchen.