Title: Freaks in Love
Characters: Sirius/Remus, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew
Word Count: 2957
Summary: Things change between Sirius and Remus after the werewolf returns to human form one morning.
Disclaimer: This piece is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling; various publishers, including, but not limited to: Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books; and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Peter and James had left in confusion; they did not understand why Remus had broken into a sobbing fit after his body had re-knit itself from a wolf to a boy. They had tried to coax him back into his clothing, and said as many comforting words as they could find; but in the end, only Sirius had remained behind with Remus in the Shrieking Shack. The other Marauders had gone back through the tunnel to Hogwarts to cover for their friends' absence at breakfast.
"I can't do this anymore," Remus snuffled through crossed arms set upon drawn-up knees. "Can't. Won't!"
Sirius crouched down next to his friend nervously, casting a worried gaze over his pale, scratched skin. Some of the blood on it was not Remus' own. "What's the matter? What happened last night to upset you?"
"Can't, can't . . . won't," the boy murmured again before bursting into a fresh round of tears.
Sirius could barely stand to watch. He wanted so badly to comfort his friend, to hold him. But blokes don't do that for each other—not normal ones, he reminded himself. "What won't you do?" he asked gently, forcing his hands to remain resting on his knees and trying to master the crude desire of his throbbing prick, which did not seem to understand that there was nothing erotic about a nude and trembling Remus. Nothing.
"You . . . you should . . . go."
"Yes—go before you lose points!"
"Don't call me that!" Remus exclaimed, raising his tear-stained face and shaking the disheveled brown hair out of his eyes. I'm not an . . . I'm . . . I'm not!"
"Sirius risked placing a hand on Remus' knee. "You're my friend. I know what you are. I know you're not an . . . an animal!"
"I wish that were true."
"Remus, of course it's true," Sirius said emphatically, squeezing the other boy's knee and sliding his hand down his thigh in what he hoped would be a soothing gesture.
He hated himself for feeling so aroused by the feel of his friend's soft, warm skin under his palm.
"You're not the freak here," Remus whispered. "I am," he insisted, though he did relax into Sirius' touch.
"You don't know—" No! You can't tell him this. He'll hate you!—"You don't know what you're saying."
Remus lowered his legs as one toward the floor, and curled up in a ball with his back to Sirius. "Just go," he whispered. "Please."
Sirius went down on his knees behind his friend's body and leaned his head down over Remus' to whisper into his hair, "I could never leave you, Moo—Remus. I could never leave you alone while you were so upset."
Carefully, he laid himself down and wrapped his arms around the other boy, keeping his hips and legs well away from Remus' body. It wouldn't do for him to reveal to his friend the effect his beautiful, vulnerable body had on his own. It wouldn't do to reveal just what kind of freak he was.
Remus sighed and wept quietly, occasionally asking, "Why?" as Sirius slowly stroked his hair. Eventually, he fell asleep, and Sirius' caresses grew more bold. He allowed himself to stroke the boy's neck, and then to move his hand down his chest in a tentative, exploratory manner. When his fingers brushed one of Remus' nipples and it hardened, his cock twitched encouragingly.
"No. No, it's not right."
"Why not?" Remus asked, startling him.
"Oh, shit! Oh, shit, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed in alarm as he rolled away from the other boy. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"
Remus pushed himself up off of the floor into a crouch.
Sirius could see that Remus was as hard as he was. "Moony . . . ."
"It's all right, Padfoot. I . . . I didn't mind it."
"Didn't mind what?" Sirius asked, suddenly frightened. "It was an accident."
"Oh," Remus replied in a hollow voice, his cock dipping noticeably. "I thought . . . never mind."
Without looking at his friend, the boy began scrabbling about the floor for his clothes.
"No! Wait—I mean, I did . . . that is—"
"It's all right, Sirius. I understand. You're not a freak like I am, not a poof. Of course you'd never—"
"Remus, please. You don't understand," Sirius pleaded, reaching for the trousers that his friend now held and pulling them away from him. "I meant that I shouldn't've touched you like that without your permission."
The two Gryffindors stood before one another in the gloom of the shack, Sirius clutching Remus' trousers over his indefatigable erection, and Remus wearing nothing but a shocked and . . . hopeful expression.
"You think you don't have my permission?" Remus asked in a husky tone, dipping his head down to indicate the willingness of his prick, which bobbed up out of its nest of dark brown curls, fully hard again. "You think I don't want you?"
"Oh, Remus, I . . . I . . . ."
"Are you afraid to touch me now because of what I did? I saw the blood. I know that I must have—"
"You're a werewolf, Remus. Of course it's not because of what you did. I mean, I do want you. I'm not afraid to touch you."
"I must have ripped whatever it was apart with my teeth and claws. I wouldn't blame you for—"
"Remus," Sirius said, taking a step closer to his friend. "Is that why you were so upset this morning? Because you think you killed something last night?"
"Well, didn't I?"
"Yes, but—but it's all right, Moony! I don't blame you for that! You're part werewolf—it's normal for you to—"
"Is it? I don't think it is. I don't want to be a . . . a killer."
Sirius dropped the trousers he was clutching and placed both of his hands lightly on Remus' shoulders. "Gods, I don't think less of you for being a hunter. It's part of you, and I . . . ."
"You what?" Remus breathed into Sirius' chest, against which his head was almost laying.
The taller boy gathered his courage and his friend into his arms, embracing his feelings before saying, "I love all of you, Remus Lupin. Every . . . part . . . of . . . you," he said in between placing light kisses on the boy's head and neck.
"You . . . you do?" Remus asked, pulling away a bit to look up into Sirius' eyes.
He was stunned by the strength of emotion that filled them, and certain that it matched his own feelings as Sirius' eyes widened.
"What is it?"
"It's . . . it's you, Moony. It's always been you," Sirius told him. "Gods, I've wanted to touch you. But I thought that you wouldn't understand."
"You thought that I'd think you were a freak."
"So I feel," Sirius replied, smiling as he felt Remus' cock rubbing between his thighs.
"Touch me, please."
Sirius growled softly in reply before pressing his lips to Remus' own. He tried to make it a gentle kiss, though he wanted so much to be more passionate. But when the other boy opened his mouth and flicked his tongue lightly against his in invitation, Sirius forgot himself and kissed his friend as deeply as he could.
It was only when Remus swooned that Sirius remembered the importance of breathing.
They stood breathing heavily against one another, knees weak, hearts pounding, and skin tingling.
"Wh—what now?" Sirius asked.
Remus thrust his hips forward in suggestion, and in an unspoken agreement, the two boys knelt as one to the floor.
"What . . . what do we do?" Sirius gasped.
"Anything . . . everything," Remus encouraged, lying down and pulling Sirius on top of him, yelping a bit as the boy moved over a sore spot.
"Did I hurt—" Sirius tried to ask, but Remus stopped his mouth with another dizzying kiss and ran his hands up the other boy's sides, over his shoulders, and down his back.
So good! Sirius cried in his mind, thrusting into Remus in spite of his concern that he might hurt him.
But Remus did not behave as though he were in pain. He wrapped his legs around Sirius' hips and rocked, which caused his prick to slide against the other boy's.
"Oh! Yes, Moony. I . . . like that—oh!"
"Want to come, Padfoot."
"I'll make you come, Moony," Sirius promised, wriggling his hips to loosen Remus' leg's grip on his hips and slide down the boy's body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake.
Remus' thick cock smacked wetly against Sirius' chin, and he laughed. "Oops."
Sirius grinned wickedly and nuzzled the engorged flesh with his cheeks before turning to take the leaking head into his mouth. As soon as he tasted the other boy, he knew exactly what to do.
"Padfoot!" Remus screamed as Sirius sucked his cock into his mouth and began moving his lips up and down the length of it, flattening his eager tongue against its underside.
"Mmph!" was all the other boy could manage, as he grasped Remus' hips and pressed them into the dusty floorboards.
Writhing uncontrollably from the suction of his lover's mouth, Remus lost all control, jerking his hips without rhythm for but a few moments before he gave a strangled cry and spilled himself in heavy, salty pulses down Sirius' throat while his fingers twisted into fists in the other boy's sweat-dampened hair.
"Oh . . . oh . . . oh, gods, Sirius. That . . . was . . . brilliant."
Sirius kissed a sloppy trail back up Remus' body until he reached the boy's mouth and then let him suck his own essence off of his tongue as he kissed him breathless again.
"Yeah . . . yeah, it . . . was," he replied a moment later, smiling down into his lover's eyes.
Sirius' breath hitched as Remus sat up and pressed him firmly to the floor, and it became erratic when he felt a pair of full, soft lips rubbing light, teasing kisses on one of his hardening nipples before nipping playfully at it.
"Like that, Padfoot?"
Laughing, Remus continued to lick one of Sirius' nipples while pinching the other until the jerking of the moaning boy's hips beneath him became too insistent.
"I'm sorry, did you want something?"
"Does your cock want something, perhaps?" Remus asked, trailing a fingertip lightly down Sirius' chest to his belly button and dipping it in and out of the tiny orifice.
"Oh, you . . . bastard! Touch me."
"I am touching you, Padfoot."
"Mmmmmmoony! Oh, gods—you're going to kill me! Touch my prick, please," Sirius begged.
"How? With what?" Remus whispered against Sirius' belly.
"Stop hovering and suck me!"
"Maybe," Remus said, curling his fingers around the other boy's scrotum and rolling Sirius' balls between them. "After you beg a little more."
"Oh, you—Moony—oh, guh—WHA—" Sirius screamed when one of his friend's fingers dipped between the cheeks of his ass and rubbed back and forth over his hole.
"You like that, don't you?"
"Yes, yes, yes," Sirius chanted as Remus thrust inside of him.
Suddenly, he clamped down upon the exploratory digit and gasped wordlessly as his lover brushed over a part of him that made sparks fly behind his eyes.
"That's your prostrate, Padfoot. I'm going to pay special attention to it," Remus promised before lowering his head and sucking the other boy's prick to the root.
"GYAH! OH—YES—YES, MOONY!" Sirius yelled, coming almost at once.
Remus suckled at his yet hard cock, drinking his come, licking up and down his shaft in an unhurried way, and all Sirius could do was issue a keening series of nonsensical utterances until he heard the other boy murmur what sounded like a spell.
"Wha—?" the boy asked, raising his head to look into Remus' eyes, which were glittering at him as his head hovered over his cock, which was once again hard and straining for friction.
Remus smiled. "Oh, we're not done yet, love. I want more," he said before tonguing Sirius' still-leaking head to collect some missed droplets of come. "I want a lot more."
The predatory look in Moony's eyes sent a thrill of lust rushing through his spine, and he dropped his head back to the floor as the boy mouthed his prick lightly, taking in only a little of the shaft before allowing it to pop out of his mouth again.
"Oh, I agree, Padfoot. I really do," Remus said, again taking a bit more of his lover's prick into his mouth, sliding down its length, and then allowing it to fall out again.
"Please! More," Sirius begged.
In answer, Remus repeated the procedure, this time sucking in half of Sirius' demanding prick and pulling back up to the head. He mouthed up and down, up and down—each time taking in a little more, each time sucking a little bit harder, until Sirius began to hear a keening note reverberating through the shack and dimly realized that it was his own, desperate voice urging Remus on.
"Nyah . . . oh! Gah! Oh, Yes! OH, YES—MORE! Like that! Like THAT! YES, YES, YES!" he screamed, coming finally with such force that everything went white before exploding into black as he lost consciousness.
When he came to, he felt Remus' body wrapped around his own, felt his lover's hands gliding lightly up and down his chest, heard his friend's deep, sweet voice whispering against his throat.
"Oh, Sirius . . . Padfoot . . . I love you."
"Remus, Moony—I . . . I love you," he whispered, wrapping his arms around his lover and holding onto him with a sudden desperation he did not understand.
His eyes were wet, and he rapidly blinked back his threatening tears so that he would not make a fool of himself. Blokes don't cry, he thought, knowing that he had never felt this way after sex before. No one ever made me feel so . . . so . . . . No one but Remus.
A gentle hand wiped away a few escaped tears, and Remus asked, "Are you okay? Did you not like that?"
"Of course I liked it—couldn't you tell?"
"I thought maybe I was too . . . well, you know, forceful with you? You um, you did pass out, and you're crying."
"Oh, Remus—you're wonderful, love," Sirius said, pleased when he felt his lover smiling into his skin.
"I think you are, too."
"Why did we never do this before?"
Remus struggled a bit in Sirius' embrace, and the other boy reluctantly released him. They sat up, both blushing and sheepish now that their pleasure had faded.
"I, um, I guess we just didn't . . . ."
"Want each other to think that we were freaks?" Remus concluded.
"Yeah," Sirius agreed, smiling widely. "But I don't mind being a freak with you, Moony."
Remus blushed more deeply and lowered his head as if to hide how Sirius' words affected him, but Sirius reached for his chin and gently raised his head.
"You never have to hide yourself from me, Moony. Ever. I want to know all of you," he said, leaning toward his lover for another kiss.
It was deep and sweet and tasted like the future, and Sirius knew then that he had never understood what love was before he had touched Remus.
"You do?" the other boy asked, breaking their kiss.
"Oh, yes, Remus. I do," Sirius swore, feeling very much like he was making another sort of vow. "I love you. I'll only ever love only you," he promised, hoping that Remus would understand him.
Looking into Sirius' eyes, Remus allowed his answer to shine from his own.
He had been with other boys, of course, but he had never felt for them. He needed his friend to know.
"I'll never love anyone else, Sirius. I've . . . I've never loved anyone but you, you know."
"Oh," Sirius breathed more than said, grateful and relieved at once. "Remus."
And then the two lovers sealed their exchange with another kiss, one that held both their hearts, and became so lost in the play of their tongues and bodies that they forgot completely about returning to the school.
Later that night when Peter and James returned, they found their friends already transformed into their animal forms and frolicking in the woods beyond the Shrieking Shack. Watching their friends playing, they both realized that, if they joined them, they would be intruding upon a couple.
"I have to study, anyway," Peter said, turning to go back the way they had come.
"Yeah, me too," James agreed, following his friend.
He had long suspected that his best friend and Remus were attracted to each other, but he had not known that they were in love. He was happy for them, of course, but he was also envious.
Evans would never look at me like that, he thought sadly, wondering if there was not something he could do to make Lily pay attention to him. Remembering how upset Remus had been in the morning, he thought, Perhaps she'd take me seriously if I cried. It worked for Moony . . . .
"Thinking of Evans again, are you?" Peter asked as they entered the tunnel to the school.
"No. Why would you ask that?"
"Because you're always thinking of Evans."
"Yeah, well, I'm not," James lied.
A pair of howls rose behind them, and the boys stopped.
"It's like music," Peter said wistfully.
"Yeah—I was thinking of Evans," James said quickly, suddenly and inexplicably moved to be truthful.
"Shut up, you."
"Why should I? You're the freak in love. I don't even think she's pretty."
James did not comment on that last point. He knew that Peter fancied Lily, and had since Fourth Year. Instead, he replied, "Nah, I'm not in love. I just want to be."
"Right," Peter replied doubtfully, dashing into the darkness.
But James hesitated, listening again to the sounds of his friends in the forest. Their cries were like music, and the boy felt inspired by them. Maybe I do love Lily, he told himself, resolving, in that moment, to find out. "Hey, Wormtail!" he called to the retreating boy. "You sure you don't fancy Evans?"