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A RL friend of mine said earlier tonight that "awkward teenaged moments would be a bitch if magic were added to them." Her comment, and my growing irritation with Marauders-era fics portraying Lily Evans as the girl-on-a-pedestal and Remus Lupin as entirely blameless in every respect, prompted this drabble.

"You fancy him, then?" Remus Lupin was asking someone, presumably a girl, though Severus couldn't say for certain as he crept up the Astronomy Tower's staircase and stopped just before the lintel.

"Y—yes, I do."

Evans. Of course. No doubt moaning about Potter, Severus thought, his stomach clenching.

"Then why not tell him?"

Severus watched in disgusted fascination as his Potions partner pushed Lupin away and glared at him under the too-bright stars. "Why don't I just tell Snape that I fancy him when I know he hates me?"

What? Severus thought, going rigid with shock.

"You don't know that."

"Remus, you heard what he called me!"

"Yeah," the Fifth Year boy said, somewhat forlornly.

"Stop looking like someone just kicked you—but you do deserve to feel guilty, don't you? You never even tried to—"

"I did so!" Lupin yelled, "but they never listen to me—and they're my friends. What was I sup—"

"You were supposed to take points! You were supposed to do something, anything—but you weren't supposed to just sit there and watch it happen," Evans asserted, turning her back on Remus and hugging herself.

"I . . . I know just as much about the Dark Arts as he does, you know."

Liar!

"What?" Evans demanded, swinging back around, her expression horrified. "You're . . . you think that I'm interested in Snape because of that and you're using it to flirt with me? How dare you!"

Severus, standing in the shadows and trying to control his breathing, was wondering the same thing.

"I'm sorry. Truly, Lily, I am, but—"

"You are sorry, Lupin," Evans replied coldly, making for the exit.

Move! Severus told himself, but his feet wouldn't obey him.

Lupin grabbed Evans' arm then, hard, and she punched him, also hard—but the boy didn't release her. Rather, he turned her easily in his arms, pulled her close, and forced a rough kiss upon her mouth.

Evans did not immediately recoil from it.

"Slut."

"Ow! Why the hell did you do that?"

Evans was trembling now, but she had her wand pointing rather steadily at Lupin, Severus saw. He still couldn't see the other boy's face, but from the movement of his arm, he assumed that Evans had drawn blood.

Good.

"I don't believe you! Contrary to whatever you've heard, girls don't like being kissed like boys—or when they didn't ask to be!"

"What do you mean, 'like boys'?"

"Pathetic and repressed—lovely. Get out of my way."

Severus forced himself not to laugh.

"Not until you explain."

"I will hex you, Lupin."

"Stop calling me that! I didn't mean to—"

"You never mean anything you do, and you never do anything you mean, and if you don't move right this moment, I'll—"

"Please! Don't tell them. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"No! You shouldn't have let them torment Snape. No, you shouldn't have tried to kiss me when you want to kiss Sirius. No, you shouldn't have ignored me when I told you to move," Evans said, flicking her wrist.

A jet of yellow light burst from her wand and hit Lupin square in his chest, and he went flying backward.

Severus' heart hammered in his chest, and he crept forward to watch Evans checking Lupin's pulse.

"Just knocked out then, good," she whispered, wiping back tears as she knelt over the boy. "I'm not sorry, you useless git. I hate you for letting them hurt Severus and doing nothing. He never deserved that."

Severus couldn't stand it anymore. She was magnificent and she fancied him and he had to help her. I'll show her I'm not useless! "Lily," he whispered. "Lily, if he's all right, you should go. You'll want to keep out of trouble."

Her back tensed. "You're right."

"I'll stay here until he comes 'round and then Obliviate him. No one has to know, I promise."

"Thanks, Severus," Lily replied, turning her wand on him, "for the idea."

The last thing Severus saw was a flash of light without color, and then he found himself staring at the stars, flat on his back on the Astronomy Tower.

How the hell did I get here?