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This morning, Shog and I discovered that we learnt different versions of "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" and ended up settling our disagreement about whose version of the hymn was better by revising its lyrics along (sacrilegiously) Lovecraftian lines. Behold!



"He'll Have the Whole World in His Claws"

Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin', yes he is,
Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin', yes he is,
Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin', yes he is,
Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin' soon!

He'll have the whole world in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws!

He'll have the itty bitty cultists in his claws,
He'll have the itty bitty cultists in his claws,
He'll have the itty bitty cultists in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws!

He'll have a-you and me, brother, in his claws,
He'll have a-you and me, brother, in his claws,
He'll have a-you and me, brother, in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws!

He'll have a-you and me, sister, in his claws,
He'll have a-you and me, sister, in his claws,
He'll have a-you and me, sister, in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws!

Better to submit and be eaten first,
Better to submit and be eaten first,
Better to submit and be eaten first,
Better to be eaten first!

Tell you what happens if ya ain't eaten first,
Tell you what happens if ya ain't eaten first,
Tell you what happens if ya ain't eaten first,
Tell you what happens, oh . . .

A rippin' and a gnashin', flee the screams!
A rippin' and a gnashin', flee the screams!
A rippin' and a gnashin', flee the screams!
Oh, you're gonna try to flee the screams!

He'll have the whole world in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws,
He'll have the whole world in his claws!

Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin', yes he is,
Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin', yes he is,
Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin', yes he is,
Great Ol' Cthulhu's risin' soon!

My icon is not as relevant to this post as I might wish. *snorts*

And how are all of you?

P.S. Ever wanted to know how to pronounce "ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"? Wonder no longer!



P.P.S. Under the cut, have a vid discussing how to pronounce "Cthulhu" as H. P. Lovecraft intended.





Fascinating vid, that, but I'm going to continue to follow the long-accepted human pronunciation of "K-thoo-loo" (and not wrinkle my nose at "K-too-loo").

Comments

fairyniamh
May. 13th, 2017 10:12 pm (UTC)
Why can't you have chocolate cake? Carob Cake is a good substitute. I made my mother a Carob Cake (she can't have chocolate because of her kidney number.) She cried happy tears, because it tasted so much like chocolate.
iulia_linnea
May. 14th, 2017 07:40 pm (UTC)
I can eat chocolate; I just shouldn't be eating all the sugar that traditionally comes with it. :P

Carob is a great alternative to chocolate, but only chocolate is chocolate. *snorts*

Now I feel like baking, sugar be damned. *ponders brownies*