We picked up just after the start of Act Two, in which Scorpius doesn't like that Albus is talking to a girl (think of that), and Shog continues to distrust Delphi. :P "[P]ale and red at the same time"—"That's because he's got a boner!" says Shog.
On the heels of Shog's comment, in the stage directions of the next scene, we're told that the "forest seems to grow bigger, thicker"—I lost my composure.
Harry meets Bane. Bane scares Harry. Harry, through me, calls for his son—thoroughly confusing our dog, Albus, who's sitting with us on the bed wondering what the hell my problem was. "I'm right here!" he groaned, nosing my hand. Poor Albus.
Oh, yes, Scorpius! Albus gets a tingle . . . .
*sporfles at "a splendid mass of bulbous buildings and towers"* That's purposeful, right? That has to be.
Scorpius! You said "crazily"; I love you as if you were my own . . . younger male relative! *embraces grammatical character*
I'll bet Ron wished Viktor would have tried a few things with him on a broomstick back at the Triwizard Tournament!
Never forget: Cedric Diggory is very, very gay!
Oh, Ludo. "Don't damage our Diggory"? Is that creeping anyone else out?
Ha! Even Portrait!Albus thinks that Harry was an asshole for naming Albus after him. *snerk*
No, Minerva won't spy on your kid for you, Harry. >:(
Fuck you, Dad! I mean, Harry. What an abject arse you're being! . . . Go to Scorpius, Albus!
Noooooooooooooooo! You wouldn't be better off without your best friend and future husband! Nooooooooooooo!
I don't care what reality they're in; Ginny would not allow Harry to speak to her like that—and she knows exactly how to be. *firm*
I'm so bummed that Minerva didn't rip Harry a new asshole—since when does a Head take that kind of crap from anyone?! Shog: "Harry Potter and the Stick Up His Arse." Yes.
Apparently, Hermione is channeling Snape. *rolls eyes* Ah, but "Teaching. For my sins." As a teacher, that made me lose my shit.
FUCK YOU, Act Two, Scene Thirteen!
Draco takes his wand (Shog: "Wang!") out!
What did you miss, Ginny? Oh, just the fact that your husband should have shagged Draco a looooong time ago! Says Shog: "Even I see it."
Scorpius is jealous of Albus getting Delphi's . . . owls. Albus and Scorpius' love is quasi-canonical! *\o/* ("Er, at this age, it's really just about sticking your dick in someone," says Shog.)
When Delphi tells Scorpius that she invented a childhood best friend, Shog said, "Yeah, his name was He Who Must Not Be Named. I don't trust her! She's another time-traveler or something. She is the darkness!" I replied, "She is the night!" and Shog became irritated. "I'm serious here, damn it! There is something wrong about Delphi!"
*doesn't spoil Shog; twirls*
Scorpius, you adorable, magnificent geek! You fell out with your imaginary friend over the rules to Gobstones?! Ahahahahaha! Where is the fic of this! I must see it! *dances*
OMG, this entire scene! You don't know why, but you need each other. Surely 14 (is it?) is old enough to know what one needs from one's "best friend." Shog: "Yes, to stick their dicks in—" My laughing drowned him out.
"GINNY stands between them." Hasn't she always? *mean*
Harry does most of the cooking! I might forgive a lot of asshattery for that.
Harry and Draco's fight is, according to Shog, "Pure fucking foreplay." *agrees*
Oh, good grief: Draco knows that Harry knows the "power of friendship"? *gags*
Harry, how is it that you've never realized that Ginny was jealous of your friendship with Ron and Hermione? How?!
Shog thinks that Draco is unfair to Harry. "He was locked in a fucking cupboard! How's that for friendless?!"
Oh, I'm sorry we stopped where we did, but my poor confused dog needed a walk. Albus: "Why do you keep saying my name?!" *pets him*